Music Blogs

Pope Benedict XVI is recording an album. Geffen - once home to Nirvana and The Bloodhound Gang - are going to release it. They say listeners will be "shocked" by the Pontiff's "incredible voice". According to BBC reports, "Alma Mater" will be "an album of Lauretan litanies and prayers with musical accompaniment" but in the interests of mirth and sensationalism we're going to ignore that completely and instead have devised our own top ten list of covers that Pope Benny might fancy trying his hand at.



Madonna - "Papa Don't Preach"

There are a load of Madonna tracks we could have used - "Like A Prayer", "Oh Father", "Like A Virgin" - as Eighties Madge discovered that goading the church while simultaneously titillating middle-aged men was a combo that could deliver cash and fame incredibly quickly. The Pope could re-appropriate this and turn it into a poignant paean to internal angst - to preach or not to preach? That, of course, is the question.

David Bowie - "The Laughing Rome"

Benedict XVI turns Bowie's comedy single into a paranoid, Mark E Smith-style rant about how everyone in Vatican City is laughing at him behind his back.



Pulp - "Common Papal"

In which the Pope tries to reconnect with the masses. Not sure how he'd deal with the lines "and then dance and drink and screw" though.

Genesis - "Jesus He Knows Me"

We asked Jesus if he knows Phil Collins, and he told us he'd never heard of him. The Pope, of course, enjoys a far less dubious connection with the second coming. They're pretty much BFFs.



The Rolling Stones - "(I Vatican't Get No) Satisfaction"

He may be the Pope, but he's still made of flesh and blood. A man has ‘needs'. The Pope isn't allowed to ‘need' and Jagger's ode to frustration is a perfect fit for poor Benny.

The Smiths - "Seminary Gates"

Like most students, the Pope was a big Smiths fan.



The Boomtown Ratzingers - "I Don't Like Puns, Dave"

A rapidly-recorded retort to this list from the man born Joseph Alois Ratzinger.

The Stone Roses - "I Am The Resurrection"

Drunk on the potent liquor of his own fame, the Pope risks alienating his fan base in a career threatening fit of bravado. His ‘bigger than Jesus' moment.



The Who - "My Veneration"

The Pope, a keen Mod in his youth, explains how his devotion to God prevented him from joining his friends down on Brighton beach at the weekend to bash in the heads of leather-clad rockers.

Billy Idol - "Sweet Sistine"

After a hard day's DIY, the Pope takes a moment to admire the work he's done fixing up his ‘crib'.

So come on, tell us - which ones did we miss?