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St George’s Rock Jukebox

Posted Thu 23 Apr 2009 9:47AM BST by Dave Rumour in Snap, Crackle and Pop

Every April 23rd, the distinctive St George's Cross flag is unfurled skywards as if England were halfway to the World Cup with Germany about to be thrashed in the final. Happily, this is no bad thing and on such a historic day our Patron Saint would surely demand some music for his next conquest. So Snap, Crackle and Pop reckons now is the time to celebrate the pop'n'roll acts who have raised the spirits of this nation over the years, some who may have fallen by the wayside and others who continue to belt out the hits like invincible knights of the realm.

There are, of course, many to choose from but if St George had to name his Top Ten, there would be no room for nostalgia, only ruthless rock decision making. Which means out go Queen's pop-operatics, the Bee Gee's disco anthems and Black Sabbath's hard rock Satanism. Also tossed aside are Pulp's Britpop flag-wavers, Led Zeppelin's tousled histrionics, Coldplay's bedwetters and The Smiths' bed-sit angst, alongside other notable and honourable absentees The Clash, Pet Shop Boys and Arctic Monkeys. Because here is our definitive St George's Day Countdown. Serve with a plate of bangers and mash:

10 Oasis


St George
would surely respect the Gallagher brother's fighting qualities and with "Live Forever" they have a song tailor-made for his everlasting kudos.



09 Pink Floyd


During their ‘60s heyday and with the rather far-out Syd Barrett setting controls for the heart of the sun, the goggle-eyed Floyd were seeing dragons around every corner.



08 New Order


What greater national honour can there be than writing the official World Cup song for the English football team? "We're singing for England, ENG-ER-LAND!"



07 The Stone Roses


The baggy legends may only have made one good album but in John Squire they had a guitarist who played as if brandishing a massive sword, even if singer Ian Brown sounded as though his throat had just been cut.



06 Sex Pistols


OK so St George may have frowned upon Sid Vicious and co's anti-Royalist rhetoric but he would surely have entered battle to the words "God Save The Queen" every day of the week.



05 Spice Girls


Yes, THAT dress, which may have been tailored from a Union flag but never mind. Plus Geri looks cracking in it and we need some girls at this party.



04 Blur


Single-handedly resurrected "British Image #1", soundtracking the Britpop era with songs like "This Is A Low", which was written around the BBC's much-loved shipping forecast.



03 The Rolling Stones


Put the anti-establishment, insurrectionary bad attitude, prison terms, mars bars and "Their Satanic Majesties Request" to one side, because the now pensionable Mick and Keef are as English as a cup of tea.



02 Radiohead


Paid direct tribute to Her Majesty with "Kid A"'s "National Anthem" before showing admirable knowledge of war games on "You And Whose Army". Thom Yorke's woggle eye is also rumoured to have been injured at the infamous battle of Harrowdown Hill.



01 The Beatles


Crowned the nation's favourite musical sons some 45 years ago when they collected MBEs at Buckingham Palace (don't mention what happened in the toilets), their standing continues to this day, with Sir Paul McCartney unchallenged as the Queen Mother of Brit Rock.



What do you think of our St George's Day Jukebox? Who's out that should be in? Have your say here...

716 Comments

61. Yahoo! Music User -
Mr.Rumour I hope you do not get paid for this. This is the biggest pile of rubbish I have ever read. You obviously have not got a clue about music. You must be one of these nerds who lives through the internet. You poor b*****d. Nothing but sympathy for your sad life!!!!

62. Yahoo! Music User -
blur should not be there or oasis complete crap for a crap up to there bollocks credit card generation moronic idiots who wouldnt know about music if it bit them on the arse

63. Yahoo! Music User -
Where are STEELEYE SPAN??? They sang "Hard Times of Old England" which we are very much in at the moment.
1. The Beatles
2. Steeleye Span
3. Jamiroquai - why stick to rock when a funk band invoke a more contemporary multicultural England?
4. Blur
5. Queen
6. Gorillaz (same as Jamiroquai)
7. Susan Boyle - real woman, real talent

The rest are all white male stereotypes and no longer represent the true diversity of musical taste and variety in England. Damon Albarn would agree.

64. jamie -
where's the govan proddy boys??

65. Kev -
You call that rock music?
Come on Yahoo!, this is drivel.

66. Lynsey -
Yeah, where is Queen? There has never been another artist so talented as Freddie Mercury, certainly not in England so where is Queen in this list?

And if musical talent is judged on how good someone looks in a tacky dress, I really do give up on this country.

67. Yahoo! Music User -
New Order... Stone Roses... Spice Girls???

And then you leave out The Kinks or The Who or The Small Faces - all quintessentially English and much copied...

First things first I say

68. Yahoo! Music User -
If we're looking for acts that are quintessentially English, the Kinks, Small Faces, the Who, the Jam, the Clash, Madness, the Fall and the Smiths probably deserve a nod.

69. daniel -
Poor choices, sorry!

70. Smith -
WHO THE HELL WROTE THIS RUBBISH??

LED ZEPPELIN?
QUEEN?
THE WHO?
THE KINKS?
THE CLASH!???

MORONS!

71. gary b -
it all sucks who chose the spice girls they about as patriotic as a wet lettuce

72. Carol -
Who compiled this list which psychiatric hospital are they on section in and who let them escape?

73. Yahoo! Music User -
WHERE IS MICHAEL JACKSON WHO RITES THIS STUFF ANYWAY?

74. Blair -
Where's the logic in all of this?

75. barry -
what a crap list

76. Evzenie -
and what about deep purple,zeppelin,the who,queen???? tss,at least coldplay shoudl be included if there is something like blur or spicegirls...

77. Emma -
What do you mean, out go Queen?? The list should start with them! And no Led Zeppelin??

Yet you seriously think Oasis and Spice Girls should make a good list of English bands? Pfft. This was clearly written on April 1st and has been delayed in its print.

78. Moira -
How did Queen not make the list thats ridiculous! But Blur did?

79. Yahoo! Music User -
Where's Genesis, Yes, Moody Blues? What have Blur, Stone Roses etc ever done? Looks like something written by an NME hack!

80. jimmy -
spice girls? are you taking the piss?
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