Music Blogs

Over the years, it's often been said there are striking similarities between Famethrowa and Michael Jackson. Many of these comments have resulted in defamation lawsuits but it seems another parallel is upon us after it emerged that the 50-year-old superstar is planning on moving to Essex this summer for his residency at the capital's O2 Arena. Yours truly was actually raised/dragged-up in the much maligned county and is here to inform Jacko that the place resembles nothing he will have witnessed in Bel Air or Santa Monica Boulevard.

Ageless, throaty old rocker Rod Stewart has apparently agreed to handover the keys to his 180-acre Copped Hall estate in Epping to the singer, giving him a fast route into town for his seemingly infinite live residency. The massive drum has a five-a-side football pitch, which is unlikely to appeal to Jacko, and is clearly no Neverland. However, Southend is not far away if he fancies hopping aboard a rollercoaster or hitting the dodgems. But he should be aware that riding around in a wheelchair while wearing a mask is likely to be met with very short thrift by the locals, who are more used to gangland killings than Peter Pans of pop who drink Jesus juice not lager.

Tickets for the "This Is It" comeback went on-sale today and Famethrowa was one of the lucky few who snapped-up a pair and immediately checked to see how much they were going for on eBay. Happily, financial security for life seems assured but the shows themselves, if they happen, are sure to be mind-blowing occasions, with spectacular stage pyrotechnics and fresh material planned. Randy Philips, boss of concert promoters AEG Live, revealed today: "There will be a new Michael Jackson single before the first date." Well before the self-styled King of Pop gets ahead of himself and tries to remember where he put his recording studio, here's a chilling warning of what awaits in the place they call Essex...