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Britney's gone very quiet. Is it possible something terrible has happened to her and no-one's noticed?! No, of course not. That poor girl can barely crash into a stationary vehicle without there being some massive rumpus. In fact, her slide into failed superstardom is now so well documented that people with no real say in her life are queuing up for a slice of the damaged apple pie. As you may know, Spears is currently ‘in the care' of father Jamie, a role he must surely find more satisfying than his previous one as a builder. But that's not stopped beefy, domineering but strangely attractive famed British Supernanny Jo Frost from offering her considerable services.

"I do believe she loves her children very much and I'd be more than happy to help her", explains Frost, who says the fallen idol needs to feel "secure and confident in herself", as she bids to regain estranged kids Jayden James and Sean Preston. But this global bid for Britney's salvation doesn't end there. Oh no. Because an olive branch is also being extended by a more unlikely good samaritan, namely Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten, who is renowned for his caring attitude. If punk was about anything it was looking out for your neighbour, right? So Rotten may have once spat the words "I wanna destroy passers-by", but that was ages ago.

In 2007, his viewpoint is very different, as he reveals: "I haven't written a song for Britney yet but I would love to. I'd like to help out because there's a girl who needs some help. She's been hurt. And hurt is the root core essence of good music". He's right. Famethrowa very often feels very hurt when he listens to the music of The Kooks. I also think I could have a role here in aiding Britney's return to the bosom of real life. How hard could it be? From what I can gather all that's required is endless partying, the occasional marriage, then into rehab while the heat dies down, making sure to avoid the hairdressers on the way. Easy.

Of course, it's not just me, Supernanny and Johnny Lydon who are in with a shot at this icon rescue mission. In fact, Famethrowa has decided to open a book to find out "Who Can Save Britney?"

Here's the latest odds:

2-1 David Beckham
5-1 Jesus
7-1 Supernanny
10-1 Jamie Spears
13-1 Oprah
15-1 Jose Mourinho
18-1 Kate Bush
20-1 Me
25-1 You
30-1 Tom Cruise
33-1 Superman
33-1 Kanye West
40-1 Shergar
50-1 K-Fed
99-1 Amy Winehouse

So, who's your money on?

Today's Famethrowa's

New: "Chemtrails" Beck
Old: "7 And 7 Is" Love