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You have to watch what you say to the more extreme and volatile of the world's people these days, what with all the jihad flying about. Just ask Salman Rushdie, Danish cartoonist Kurt Westergaard or British nanny Gillian Gibbons, who have all narrowly avoided death after seriously underestimating the very real danger of 40 lashes in, say, an innocent looking teddy bear. Naturally, Famethrowa has no particular desire to live out the rest of his days in a Sudanese jail or hiding in a cupboard because of the fatwa banging at my door. So I'll tread carefully while hailing Chris De Burgh.

Where international political power-mongers of the finest calibre and deepest intellect have failed, Chris has got it sussed. This week it was confirmed he will play a gig in Tehran with an Iranian band in November, becoming the first Western musician to perform inside the Islamic Republic in almost 30 years. This is a place, of course, where fun seems to be perceived as an illness not to be fornicated with. Our pop music is banned by the government for fear that the filthy lyrics might corrupt all. None of this has stopped the "Lady In Red" crooner, however, who held a press conference in the capital back in May, as his song to Iran, "A Light for Eternity", played in the background.

They love him over there. So what has Chris got that other acts can't match? Why not the Kooks, one wonders? Well, I've done some research and it seems his success is based on one key factor - he's boring, basically. A website, entitled "Free Thoughts On Iran", goes into alarming detail about his excellence, commending the singer for being "sexually shy" and making sure his lyrics "do not contain high level English vocabulary". It explains: "He neither has a strange hair style nor wears make up. He is not accompanied by a bunch of sexy girls on the stage. He does not make the so-called dandy gestures there. This makes him fit in our cultural definition of a ‘gentleman'."

In return, Chris, sounding not unlike a wannabe premiership footballer grumpily plying his trade for Red Star Cheeky Girl FC, says it is his "dream" to perform in Iran. Well I for one am well up for it. Perhaps he could have a quick shifty around their nuclear weapons facilities while he's at it, see what they're up to? Even do a whistlestop tour of the whole area, playing shows in Iraq and Afghanistan in full body armour? He might survive and the words "Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is dancing with me, cheek to cheek" will ring out like bells of peace across the world.

Today's Famethrowa's

New: Kings Of Leon "Crawl"
Old: U2 "Surrender"